...My Response to Difficult Friend

Posted By Gossip Girl007

I took everyone's blog advice in responding to Miss Life sucks. I think I was honest, kind, yet firm in expressing how immature I think this all is. When I started writing my response it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. It actually felt really good to get this stuff off my chest and finally say all the things I have been holding back for many years. I tried as hard as possible not to be hurtful nor throw specific instances back in her face( like she did to me) because that is just not me. MY sister and my best friend thought this was a good email so I went for it and emailed her today. So far all I know is that she read it so we will see what the reply (if any) is. Either way I feel comfortable with my decision to write her back and with what I said.

Miss Life Sucks,
I did not expect this type of email from you but I am going to take this opportunity to be honest with you. I was also glad when we reconnected and I do consider you a friend. I just think that we view our friendship very differently. Our friendship has been that we pretty much that we drift in and out of each other’s lives, which is fine. I have a lot of friends who I see on an off and that doesn’t mean we don’t care about each other.

Yes, I should have called you back after the many times you called me but I was going through a difficult time and I needed space. Everyone else in my life understood and gave me the space I needed. From what I gather from your email you took it personally. That is your choice. There are some things that I don’t share with everyone and yes they are confined to my “inner circle” as you put it. I also don’t respond well to pressure. It felt to me that you wanted someone to hang out with and while you offered support by checking up on me, at that time me not responding meant I needed some time alone.

The reason we drift apart is because we don’t have that much in common. You are in a different place in your life than I am. I enjoy spending time with you but after awhile the friendship seems very one sided. Most conversations are about the stuff going on in your life and you don’t seem to have a very positive attitude when things don’t go your way or friends don’t respond the way you want. This whole email is about the way you feel and what you want of the friendship. Not once do you ask if something is wrong with me. This is OK that is they way you chose to express yourself. There were times when I walked away feeling drained from our conversations and I was upset by whatever feelings you had about something. I can empathize and sympathize with situations my friends are going through but in the case of our friendship if felt like a lot of pressure was put on me to say the right things to soothe your situations. I don’t know if other friends drift in/out of your life but if this has happened to you before maybe it’s because they don’t get support back from you maybe it’s more about soothing you and that may require you to look at yourself and deal with why this happens to you. If it’s just me who feels this way, well then write it off as whatever you want.

As for the myspace thing, I envy you that you have nothing better to worry about except why you aren’t on my top friends. Which since I am being completely honest I had not noticed until you mentioned it. I don’t value people by the place they hold on my myspace page. This is a very immature thing to bring up. Your email says you care about me but the words in the email just don’t show it.Where this friendship goes will depend on your response to what I’ve said. You wanted an answer and I gave it to you honestly.