Posted By: Gossip Girl 007
Wasn't it just last week when I wrote about Miss Life Sucks? Well she wrote me an email through myspace and now I really don't know what to do. Her email (below) sounds sincere though a little needy. What should I do? I really do hate hurting people but allowing this friend back in my life will require a lot of effort on my part. I can't do that right now. I am going through a LOT of things in my personal life and I just can't take on her needs. Do I take this opportunity to be upfront and tell her the truth that she drains people and demands to much of a friendship with out giving back? Of course in kinder words. I just don't know if this friendship is worth salvaging but I'm not a total bitch and I think I should say something to her. HELP ME I NEED ADVICE!
Hi, Gossp Girl---Hope all is well with you. This is TOTALLY going to sound like a note I would've slipped into your locker in high school(LOL!). For the past few months I've been wondering what happened between us. I was SO happy when we reconnected through My Space. From time to time throughout the years I had thought about how you were doing and what you were up to. You had always been such a sweet, compassionate friend and I always remembered that about you. You can't say that about a lot of people in this day and age.Even though we had only been reconnected for a few months, when you got sick and had to have the surgery, it meant a lot to me that your sister called to tell me. The last thing I would've thought is that you would consider me to be such a friend that you would let me know about something so personal during a very stressful period in your life. I mean, the only people who were at the hospital the day of your surgery were your best friend and your family...your inner circle.
I felt like we were on our way to becoming really close friends again. Then all of a sudden I noticed we hadn't talked in a while after my birthday. When your birthday came around, I called you a bunch of times wanting to take you out for dinner or drinks. But you never answered. Then I noticed that you had taken me off your Top Friends list on My Space. You know I'm VERY sensitive when it comes to stuff like that and I get paranoid. I kept calling and emailing and I still didn't hear from you. So here we are 6 months later and I feel like we're not even friends anymore. I know you have a lot of stuff going on with your family, but I can't help but wonder: what happened?I know I sound like a whiny, pathetic girlfriend emailing her boyfriend (yes, it's silly...but I do feel that way!), but it's been something that's really been eating away at me. It really makes me sad to think that you are mad or hurt by something I may have done or something that you may have misunderstood. And so, I'm here hoping that you'll be open and honest with me and tell me what happened. I'm totally PMS-ing too, so if I'm sure this has something to do with the extra pathetic tone to me too. :)I hope that I hear back from you, but if I don't, I hope that you leave knowing that I love you and will miss you, and didn't mean to push you away. Eventhough we've come in and out of our lives for over 20 years and have shared moments of laughter and tears, your friendship has always meant a lot to me and will always continue to be. Hugs, Miss Life Sucks
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7 comments:
I think it's time to tell her 'your' side of how things went...make sure to tell her that this is how YOU feel about the whole situation. (because she may not agree) You will be a bigger, better person if you take the opportunity now to tell her how you really feel, as she has now "confronted" you (for lack of better words) looking for an answer. I think you will feel better afterwards no matter the outcome. And it seems that this is still a huge weight on your shoulders wether or not you are ok having cut her out of your life, you seem to still be bothered by the whole thing. I say go for it, tell her! What's the worst thing that will happen? She won't be friends with you anymore?
this could be a good oppertunity to help her see that she is draining! Be kind!! but definetly tell her whats going on, after all she did ask!
I really think that this is your time to say how you feel and why things are the way that they are. I mean, she is asking for you to tell her why, so you should. And just because you are honest with her about why you feel the way that you feel, doesn't make you a bitch at all. That makes you an even better person for being so upfront and honest. A lot of people just wouldn't say anything or would make up excuses. You need to keep in mind that you are what is important (and your family and true friends) and that you don't need someone in your life draining away the great person that you are. So be open with her and you will feel a great pressure lifted off you. And as long as you do it in a nice way and let her know how you feel, then there is no being a bitch about it.
I think the best thing to do here would be to just tell her the TRUTH. Especially since you can do it in email. You can tell her everything you feel and you can say it all in a way that is very sympathetic to her feelings. You don't have to be caught off guard and end up saying or not saying something that should or shouldn't have been said. It seems that what happened with you and this friend seems to be a kind of theme with how things go in her life and I think the best thing that you can do as a friend to this person is to be honest. She needs to hear it from someone and she might as well hear it from you since the last thing you want to do is hurt her- but you also don't want to deal with her. I would keep this all via email if at all possible though- otherwise she could get her hooks in you again.
wow! well, it seems very high school, but it also seems written from the heart, although it's a bit dramatic and immature. it's hard when friendships "die out" but it happens to force it, would be lame. but also, it seems that she is not willing to take responsibility for her actions that have lead to the distance between you two. since she was so open with her feelings, i think that you should do the same. keep in mind that she seems immature since she brought up the myspace thing. i had to tell someone recently that i don't judge the value of my friendships by my friends list on myspace. my space is not real. it's not reality. to think that it is, is to be a tad delusional.
good luck!
I completely agree with Funky Fresh, seriously who has the time to notice their Myspace Top Friends list? I also have been in similar situations and feel that honestly is the best road to take. Tell her how you feel. Tell her what you think about how she acta. Tell her how her actions make you feel and tell her what's going on it your life. But most importantly, be ready to deal with either option: her wanting to work things out or her telling her 'that your not the person she though you were' (speaking from a bit of personal experience). Either way you will feel better about things and if your friendship survives it, you guys will just be stronger for dealing with something like this.
who is funky fresh......i hope you keep your identity a secreat, you are not nice!
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